Despair
My heart hangs heavy with despair,
Thoughts quite unholy- but I do
not dare.
You say ‘Just hang in there’
But alas, only The Fates shall know how I will fare.
Love
abounds but my mind does not see,
Despair and torment are allies against me.
From their grasp, my soul yearns to be
set free,
I struggle in a futile manner – Oh pity me!
c> 2005 Mario D Furtado
Lashing Out
Struggling to conform.
Scurrying to meet the norm.
Stylish
is to follow the crowd,
Goal is to make yourself proud.
You force your will upon me and call it law,
Regardless
of the putrid taste it leaves in my craw.
I laugh at you and your clique,
You can shut up and suck my dick!
c.Mario
D Furtado 2005
Slumber
A darkness befalls me,
Lost in its grasp, I cannot see.
Unable
to wave, no where to flee.
A heaviness upon my chest,
I struggle in a futile manner, at best.
To find safety;
a bird seeking its nest.
Warmth overtaken by cold,
Life loosens its hold.
‘Going to a better place’,
I’m told.
It all ends, not with a bang but a gentle fade,
It’s all over – all that I did and all
that I made.
c. 2005 Mario D Furtado
Mask
Look in the pool, what do I see?
Anguish, pain, sorrow-all three.
A
burning desire to just flee,
Throw away your wretched guise- as it may be.
Peel away the putrid layers of this life,
Slice
them off with my sharpest knife.
Carve up the sorrow and the strife,
Leave nothing but the bloody knife.
c. 2005
Mario D Furtado
Pestilence
It spreads through society, from one to another,
Doesn’t
discriminate between sister and mother.
Traveling from cradle to grave,
Inescapable, it looms be it in fields or ones
own enclave.
This beast stalks without hesitation,
IT creeps into one’s life, an omnipresent presentation.
A
virus so vile, it shames the Black Death,
A cyst on society’s health.
Taunted before the masses – a
virtue so it’s said,
A parasite in society’s head.
Passed on from mother to daughter, father to son,
It’s
Everyone’s suicidal gun.
c. 2004 Mario D Furtado
Requiem
Reminiscing upon a life of toil,
Existence- a collection of society’s
responses.
Quite the hardships have I endured,
Ugly, were their faces as I saw them
Intimate desires relegated to
the hall of the forsaken,
Extinguished has been the faint flame within my darkness.
My final performance is now before
me- one that shall take me to that place.
c.2004 Mario D Furtado
Hunger
It gnaws at you-never ceasing.
Relentlessly it permeates your being.
Every
thought accentuated by its crimson hues.
Every breath heavy with momentous anticipation.
Restless in its presence,
The
throbbing becomes unbearable.
Every bone cries for satiation,
Every pore exudes the most primitive of needs.
Yet
I fight it, barely holding on.
Just a little while longer, I plead.
Everywhere I turn, I see my need.
My heart
races, my brow sweats.
But futile I keep it at bay.
Finally I say- be it as it may.
c.2004 Mario D Furtado
On the Wind
Lying upon your cold face,
Shriveled and delicate without a trace.
Decaying-strewn
about this place.
Skipping amongst the stones,
Running together or alone.
Caretakers of this place til the winter
winds moan.
Gathered along the road,
Partner to the air of forebode.
You chatter in the breeze,
Strolling
this hallowed place with ease
c.2004 mario D Furtado
Lying in Wait
Calm, not a soul is heard,
I lay here- my soul adrift.
My
thoughts cross a great chasm; a great rift.
No more bothers for me,
As I lay here- cozy as can be.
Tucked amidst
the silk and velvet,
My soul and my thoughts- they have met.
They leave behind the torments of the body,
The purest
state of melancholy.
c. 2004 Mario D Furtado
Reflection
I stare into this mirror and what do I see?
A face so grim, it
couldn’t be me.
Eyes as black as coal,
Windows to a lifeless soul.
Does this mirror lie to me?
I ask,
‘How can this be?’
I shake my head in vain,
To Walk away- full of pain.
c.2004 Mario D Furtado
28th Day of March
It tears at my flesh, pulls at my soul,
Gnaws at my brain,
its taking a great toll.
My eyes no longer can see,
I’ve accepted this as it may be.
To satiate my lips,
to quell the hunger,
Oh how I dream of the day, when I need not wait any longer.
Every breath is a call to you,
A
call for your hand- it’s true.
I see thee in all things,
Feel you in my very being.
Alas the day shall
come,
When I will return home.
c. 2004 Mario D Furtado
Her Black Veil
The air hangs heavy with her perfume,
Profuse in myrrh and
an air of doom.
Her figure – sleek and sensual,
Our repore -a bit tenuous.
Her eyes shrouded by the night,
She
came to me from within a most alluring light.
Engulfed in black robes, she came to me,
Yet I had no fear, no desire
to flee.
A smile graced her face,
Which she hid with her silky black lace.
I took her in my embrace,
My breath
grew cold, never to emerge from her black perpetual lace.
c. 2004 Mario D Furtado
The Hunt
A part of me needs it-wants it,
It draws me, like trouble
to a misfit.
The allure tears at my soul,
It carves out a deep black hole.
Danger hangs heavy in the air tonight,
My
focus unwavering, regardless of how much I fight.
A cycle repeating-thrice about,
‘I need that’- I shout.
Creeping
closer-my urges run wild,
The anticipation mounts, like candy to a child.
Everything else is now secondary,
My better
judgment is to the contrary.
A deep breath marks my approach,
Hand in hand we enter the silver coach.
Away we
depart,
Never to return; a plague upon my heart.
c. 2004 Mario D Furtado
Intolerant
You look but you do not see,
You say you do, but you’d much
rather just flea.
Just troubled, you say,
You think you can help if you just pray.
Then you write me off as a
freak,
Or perhaps one whose soul is rather weak.
You can’t see past my dress, the black and chain,
You say
that all of this is a source of your pain.
Remarks not of love but disdain leave your lips,
To rationalize you say
my common sense had to have gone on a trip.
Unable to keep the silence, I say the Hell with you,
I am whom I am –through
and through.
c.2004 Mario D Furtado
My Escape
I stand here before my destiny, the wind upon my face,
My
life slow and stagnant, still and at a null pace.
The sun sets behind the yew,
A blistering wind, through the eaves
of my soul, now blew.
My escape from this hellhole lay before me,
Never thought this day would come-where it is
before me.
The gate stands swaying in the breeze,
Tempting me-enter please.
Heel to gravel, shovel to mound,
In
this place-relief from life can be found.
I close the gate behind me,
Let the cold hand of death take me.
c.2004
Mario D Furtado
Delusions
Seered into my flesh,
Constantly repeated, constantly fresh.
It
burrows within my head,
Driven into me like a stake of lead.
Forced to swallow,
Told that I shouldn’t feel
this hollow,
Ill to the masses am I,
Why you say?- perhaps its my unwillingness to lie.
No,no perhaps it’s
the fact that I see thy venom,
Thy poison that thee spreads.
Alas my fate is to this bottle and my bread.
c.2004 Mario D Furtado
Trapped
Anguish to the left,
Sorrow to the
right,
Pain lies ahead,
No where to go, I let myself be led,
To the land of the dead.
Lilacs round about my
bed,
Upon the shadowy path I tread.
Tears shed, prayers said,
To the land of the dead.
C.2004-2005 Mario D Furtado
~ Poison's Promise ~
You seduce me with peace,
A promise of silence.
The
key to serenity you say,
the guarantee of washing it all away.
An end to the agony,
Termination of my futile
plea.
It boasts of simplicity,
A departure with honor and dignity.
C. 2005 Mario D Furtado
Desire
Desires so dark, reminiscent of a lark.
Dare not speak them, a whisper
in the night.
Skin so pale, crimson flowing.
Corsets laced, my soul in flight.
Forbidden to some, intriguing to others.
It
is the sweet nectar of the night.
c.2004
Dark Thoughts
Seek and
ye shall find,
Dark thoughts in my mind.
Thoughts of death, sweet and divine,
Desires residing in the night- these
are mine.
Cemeteries, graveyards and mausoleums,
Desires that I assure you are not a state of delirium,
Skulls,
bones and granite crosses,
Contemplating one’s personal losses.
Crypts, coffins, and sarcophagi galore,
The
macabre, horror-give me more!
Seek and ye shall find,
Dark thoughts in my mind
c.2004
Night
Quite and surreal,
The end of
the day’s ordeal.
The burnt remains of the day,
A time when society tries to keep their nightmares at bay.
For
most a time to rest,
But for me- a time to show off my best.
A time of revelry for humanity’s darker side,
A
time when we need not hide.
